Well, we've had a long break, and that tends to happen a lot here. Deal with it. Anyway, I guess Total War: Rome II came out yesterday, so it gives me great pleasure to bring you this today:
September 4, 476 - The Western Roman Empire finally dies as Emperor Romulus Augustus is deposed when the German Odoacer declares himself "King of Italy". Suck it Assassin. I will say this, the Eastern Roman Empire continued on for very close to a thousand more years under the name "Byzantine".
That's actually only partially true. The word "Byzantine" wasn't used to describe them until long after their empire had collapsed as well, the Byzantines themselves had always referred to themselves as "Romans", but that's not what today is about, so forget that you read that.
I don't know much about Odoacer, and I could read about him to enlighten you guys, but I'm sure Assassin will learn all about him in time
. Then he can tell you. In the mean time, just be as happy as I am to hear about the first time (not the last time) that a German came to Italy and put an end to their little dreams of grandeur. Thank you Hitler. I have a Jagdtiger, I'm allowed to say things like that. Also, fun fact, did you know that Hunter has played more games in German vehicles than all other nations' vehicles combined? True story.
I'm going to take this one directly from my whiteboard behind me in my tutoring room, so you may all share in the glory of my brilliance with my students.
September 4, 1781 - The town known as "El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora La Reina de los Ángeles de Porciúncula" is founded by 44 Spanish settlers. In an age when everything had to be written out by hand it did not take long for them to realize that "Los Angeles" was a much better name. Silly Mexicans.
Okay, that last part isn't on my board, but you don't care, it's still true. And those Spanish came from Mexico, they're Mexicans. Also, for anyone who ever tell you that America should give California back to Mexico "because it was stolen from them", tell them this:
California only belonged to Mexico for about twenty years after they had stolen it from the Spanish. It had only belonged to Spain for about a hundred and fifty, and for more than the first hundred years of that they neither cared about it enough to build more than a handful of EXTREMELY tiny settlements, nor even explore the border of it to figure out where it actually "ended". Even further, Spain's "colonization" of California was a lot like the U.S. Cavalry's "colonization" of the Mid West, only this version of genocide against the natives involved a lot more Genocide, a lot more natives, and a lot more Jesus. Finally, who did the Spanish take the land from? The natives, you twit, weren't you paying attention? So clearly we should just give the land back to the Native Americans so they can turn the state into a giant casino/tobacco shop, right? Right. I mean wrong, sorry. There were so many different tribes of natives in California that it is believed by many to have been the second most culturally and linguistically diverse area all of history. The first is Papua New Guinea, in case any of you cared. The point is, it would be literally impossible to return the land to the natives (who probably stole it from other natives anyway), because there were too many of them, none of it was documented, most of the tribes have died out, and those that haven't probably already have more land and money than they ever would have otherwise. Stupid hippies and their "change".
September 4, 1939 - The first Allied plane to cross the German coast is a Bristol Blenheim and it proceeds to bomb German ships. I'm sure it was one aircraft doing it all by its lonesome too, because I'm allowed to just assume historical thoughts into historical fact, no matter how wildly unlikely and impractical they are.
Actually, holy crap, it did do it alone. It was piloted by Flying Officer Andrew McPherson, and he basically scouted the way so that a bombing raid could be held the following day. Okay then, since I apparently AM able of making up historical facts, I bet he did it while getting a blowjob and smoking a cigar. That's some damn good flying.
September 4, 1941 - The
USS Greer sights what is presumed to be the German submarine
U-652 and is fired upon. This event prompted Roosevelt to declare his "shoot on sight" policy against German submarines in American waters, which was designed to keep America from becoming Italy. Stupid Italians. As I understand it, it happened like this:
Greer is en route to Iceland to deliver mail and personnel when a British reconnaissance flight detects the submerged vessel about ten miles ahead of the
Greer. The ship proceeded to tail the sub and report its position, as per its order to "give out information, but not attack". The plane and the ship followed the submarine for about three hours, before the plane finally had to return to base. However, before the plane left it dropped four depth charges on
U-652, though none seem to have made contact. After a little more time, the submarine turned around on the
Greer and fired at least one torpedo at the destroyer. The torpedo missed, but
Greer lost contact with the submarine in the process. She began searching for the submarine again, and, after several hours reestablished contact. At this point
Greer dropped her own depth charges on the submarine, and then lost contact again, the outcome of the engagement unclear. Judging by the fact that Germany responded however, it is likely that the submarine survived.
This has been "Hunter Writes a Military Report", tune in next time for "Hunter Does Something Else"!
Sat Jan 31, 2015 7:16 am by DaLanMan
