Happy Thursday people. I don't really have much more to say yet... Fucking Thursday. Anyway, lemme throw some Scotland at you!
August 22, 564 - Columba, an Irish abbot who spread Christianity to those stubborn Scots, reports seeing a creature in Loch Ness. In case any of you grew up without a childhood, that's the Loch Ness Monster, and it's apparently either forever old or has a long line of family history that is nearly as impressive as mine.
Speaking of my family history, now this!
August 22, 1642 - King Charles I of England, son of King James I of England, who was also King James VI of Scotland, declares the English Parliament traitors. I'm going to explain this as best I can without looking it up, because I find this particular event hilarious. Charles wanted money to finance a war against... The Spanish? Maybe the Irish... Or the Puritans... Probably the Puritans actually. Anyway, Parliament says "Sorry bro, you can't use treasury money just to kill people that you don't like" and Charles got pissed. In his defense, Parliament was doing it to fuck with him, since it's not like they'd never allowed English kings to kill people before... Anyway, he says "Fuck you guys, I'm king, I'll do what I want, and I want to declare you all enemies of the state!" and so he raises his own army to eliminate Parliament.
Now, this possibly would have worked a few hundred years ago, but after the Protestant Reformation, and in the beginnings of the Enlightenment, Parliament, indeed the whole nation, is realizing that the king's power is not absolute, he's not actually some divine being, and so Parliament decides to raise their army to fight him. Bam, English Civil War.
Long story short, Parliament wins, a guy named Oliver Cromwell takes over and turns England into a military dictatorship(you know how Cromwell players are dicks? Well so was this guy, so it's fitting, but that's a whole other story), but here's the cool part. When they defeated Charles, they had him beheaded, and he is the only English king to have ever been beheaded by Parliament. So there, my family is famous for doing things that no kings or queens had ever done before. We're winners.
August 22, 1849 - The first air raid in history. Apparently the Austrians launched unmanned balloons against the Venetians (from Venice... Play Assassin's Creed people, come on now). I can only imagine that this was hilariously unsuccessful, but it could also have been... Nah, just hilarious, that's really all I can imagine it being.
August 22, 1902 - Theodore Roosevelt becomes the first American president to ride in an automobile. Because fuck walking, this is the mother fucking future.
August 22, 1910 - Japan annexes Korea after the signing of the Japan-Korea Treaty of 1910. The occupation would last until the end of World War II, but as far as we're concerned Korea is still basically Japan's little brother... Isn't that right Derick?
August 22, 1914 - The first engagement between British and German forces of the First World War. Don't ask me what the engagement was, because I'm not sure right now. I could look it up, but I have other facts to type up, so why don't you lazy bastards do it? Apparently it was in Belgium, which makes sense, because Britain "only" went to war with Germany because the Germans invaded Belgium, disregarding the country's neutrality.
August 22, 1941 - The Siege of Leningrad commences. This will become the longest recorded siege in history, and it's why I have "For Leningrad!" plastered on the side of my beautiful KV-2.
August 22, 1942 - Brazil declares war on Germany and Italy. No, I'm serious, this actually happened.
Apparently August 22nd is a MUCH better day to do historically interesting things than August 21st, so there you go. Now I'm gonna go back to whatever other nonsense it was that I was doing. See you tomorrow.
Sat Jan 31, 2015 7:16 am by DaLanMan
